Post-Thanksgiving Coma and Pies

Yes, I have been in a Thanksgiving coma for the past four days; not only a food/tryptophan-induced coma, but also an exhaustive coma from cooking Wednesday night through to 4:30pm Thursday.

I use this coma as an excuse for my inexcusable dropping-of-the-Thanksgiving-ball, so to speak, on this blog. I missed the opportunity to fully share my Thanksgiving recipes and tips and for this, I am deeply ashamed.

At least one thing I can share now that will still remain relevant through the holiday season is my experience baking my first pie from scratch. Ahhh, baking…truly my Achilles heel. I should have learned from the time I set my oven on fire making blueberry muffins that this pie making experience would not go perfectly smoothly (to be fair, that fire was caused by old grease that had dripped onto the floor of the oven). But I was feeling festive and brave last Wednesday when I looked upon my friend’s recipe for “the best pie crust ever” and decided that I would attempt to tackle this task.

There were several things I learned in the process of making the two pie crusts. Yes, two, because the first one was so dry I couldn’t roll the dough out beyond a 5-inch diameter so I had to chuck it. The first thing I learned was the existence of the Crisco pie hotline. If there is a God (of pies), then he lives at 1-877-FOR-PIE-TIPS. The two women I spoke to at the Crisco pie hotline were very helpful. I don’t know how they recruit the operators for this service, but I imagine rows upon rows of grandmothers with crocheted doilies adorning their operator headsets stationed next to miniature ovens.

“Okay, now I’m gonna need you to go ahead and shut down that oven.”
“Really?”
“Yes, just go ahead and shut it down. Alright, now what do you see?”
“Um, well, one second…sorry, it’s taking a minute…okay…alright, it’s shut off. Now what should I do!?!”
“Okay, just stay calm. Now, what do you see in your food processor?”

The next thing I learned was that many people follow the recipe on the back of the Libby’s 100% Pure Pumpkin can for their filling and it comes out very well. Another important thing I learned was that in baking, you are absolutely forbidden from packing flour in the measuring cup. Whoops. When using a measuring cup, you’re supposed to spoon the flour into the cup and then just level the top off with a knife. This is probably why my first doughball came out too dry. Lastly, I learned that a 1-oz. container of ground cloves costs $10.59 and a 1-oz. container of ground ginger costs $5.19. Next time I think I’ll just pick up a 1-oz. container of pumpkin pie spice mix.

In the end, my pie came out very well. It wasn’t the prettiest pie on the block (the pinched edges didn’t work out too well), but it certainly tasted like good pumpkin pie, spicy from the cloves and ginger, sweet from the cinnamon, with a buttery crust. One tip: when the recipe says to let the pie rest for 2 hours, really let it rest for 2 hours or however long it takes to actually completely cool. I attacked my pie with glee after only 1 hr and 20 minutes and was severely disappointed that it tasted like ginger-pumpkin flan: slightly gelatinous pumpkin custard with a heavy (over)dose of ground ginger. One night in the fridge and it became perfectly set pumpkin pie deliciousness the next day. I ate two pieces at 9:30am Thursday morning while I stood in my kitchen staring at my list of things to cook.

If you ask me right now if it was worth it, making my own pie, I’d have to say, no, it wasn’t. But maybe that’s just the childish amateur baker in me with the bruised ego who’s still bitter that she had to throw away a lump of dough the size of her head and start all over again.

It actually is quite simple if you know what you’re doing (I didn’t). Here is the recipe:

Patti’s “Best Crust Ever” Recipe

1 2/3 cups All-Purpose flour (the recipe only calls for 1 1/3 cups, but the extra 1/3 is for flouring your counter and rolling pin)
1/2 tsp. salt
2 2/3 tbs. butter, cubed
2 2/3 tbs. margarine or Crisco, cubed
1/4 cup ice cold water

• Mix 1 1/3 cups of flour and salt in a food processor using the steel blade.
• Scatter the butter and margarine/Crisco (you must use both, not just one or the other) over the flour-salt mixture and pulse everything until the bits of butter are incorporated into the flour and small pea-sized balls of dough begin forming.
• Now pour 1/4 cup of ice cold (it MUST be ice cold, the pie hotline lady could not emphasize this enough) through the spout of the food processor while it is mixing.
• The dough should come together as one large ball of dough. If it doesn’t and the dough is staying crumbly, add in a 1/2 tsp. of ice cold water for moisture while it is mixing until it is moist enough to form a ball.
• When the dough has formed a ball, take it out of the processor and gently mold it into a large, thick hamburger patty on a small plate. Cover it with plastic wrap and refrigerate it for 1 hour.
• After the hour is up, take the dough and place it on a lightly floured, cool surface (I used by granite countertop). Lightly flour your rolling pin. Starting in the middle of the dough, roll once away from you and one toward you, then turn the dough ¼ turn and repeat (one roll away from you, one roll towards you). Then turn the dough ¼ turn again and keep rolling and turning this way until you’ve got a piece of dough that is evenly 1/8th of inch thick and sticks out 1-inch all around when you hold your pie plate over it.
• To get the dough into the pie plate, carefully fold half of the circle of dough over to create a half-moon shape.
• Lift the dough and place it into the pie plate. Then unfold the half-moon so that it fills in the entire pie plate with some of the dough hanging over the sides.
• Trim the excess off, if necessary. Next, pinch the edges of the pie using the forefinger of your non-dominant hand to help create the pinches (unless you have nails like I do, in which case, do whatever you have to in order to not to tear through the dough while still pinching the edges).

E voilà! Pie crust! For the pumpkin filling, follow Libby’s recipe. I am assuming to make the more traditional pies that have a top crust you would double the recipe and then before chilling the dough, divide the giant ball into two using a pastry cutter.